I Gain Nothing But A Momentary High - I Lose My Self Respect And I Stand To Lose Much More.

Where does my self respect go when I set about viewing pornography? I feel I have none. I feel that my mind vacates my body in this pursuit.

Oh yes - I kid myself at first with all kinds of justifications such as thinking that I would be spicing up my marital sex life and, of course, I'd start with some innocuous search. But one thing leads to another. That's the trouble with the Internet - that's why it's called the web.

Then one hour would be spent after another, mindlessly watching - almost zombie like - trying to get that forever elusive initial 'high'. Yes, it's as addictive as any drug - in fact when our sex drive is engaged, chemicals are released within us.

In the process of pursuing this activity, I give up my self respect entirely.
In the process of pursuing this activity, I become selfish for I am sacrificing precious time with my wife which in turn is jeopardising our relationship.
In the process of pursuing this activity, I become tired and irritable, putting further strains on home and work relationships.

Am I really prepared to live the rest of my life like that? No - I'm taking a final stand and setting about beating this.

I want my life back and I'm resolved to start today.