Break Free - Express A Joy For Living

I believe there are several levels to our consciousness, to the person we perceive ourselves to be. At a deep level, at the core, soul - whatever you like to call it, is a knowing that our indulgence in porn is wrong / destructive for many reasons and I've listed a dozen or so in an earlier post. At another, subconscious level, ego if you like to call it that - we react constantly to what the world throws at us and that stirs our emotions. Consequently, we may become resentful, angry, frustrated, hurt, restless etc. The ego looks for a payoff or reward or compensation and that manifests as a thought - 'I want to feel good'. A memory is triggered of the most potent and / or convenient 'fix' we've experienced that has made us feel good. It could be shopping / spending, food, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, porn, sex, drugs etc.

If that's the chain of events, then isn't part of the solution to consciously find something more positive / uplifting as the source or sources [if more than one] of feeling good and to put all attention on that? Then, when we want a fix of 'feeling good', we go to that [those] source[s] only. Isn't another part of the solution to seek to calm our emotions and feel a sense of peace in the first place when we interact with the world? In short, shouldn't we try to experience a real joy for living?

If we are in a relationship, then shouldn't our joy be the love, sharing, caring and affection that is the heart of that relationship?

Shouldn't our joy be in things that touch our deeper level of consciousness - that raise the spirit if you like to call it that - in fun and laughter with freinds and family, in the simple beauty of the natural world that surrounds us, in stiring and peaceful words and music?

If I put the feel good factor of Internet porn into my subconscious in the first place, then I can reverse the process by setting up aversions to Internet porn by consciously considering the negative effects below as every day passes. I truely believe that is the way to break free from this self imprisonment; from this path of self destruction.

Every day now, I rededicate this effort to my loved ones, especially to my wife. I also rededicate it to the higher aspects from within myself, whom my ego ignored for so long.