So I've come to realise that my thoughts will control my actions. Looking back I realise that when I 'fell off the wagon', I didn't just sit there and say to myself that it would be good to watch some porn. There was a trigger and it was usually either a glamorous image [non-porn] or it was an emotion.
The glamorous non-porn image may have been in a newspaper or some advertising or an ordinary TV show. Maybe it was the sight of some cleavage or long legs in a short dress. It would be enough to send a subliminal signal that would evoke memories and feelings of my youth. Having said that, it's never bothered me when I've been on vacation and I've been on the beach with topless women nearby. Odd that or maybe not as I don't take my computer with me on vacation.
The emotional triggers I discovered could be 'switched on' when my guard was down; for example, if I felt rejection after a heated argument with my wife, or if I felt anger or resentment from my work - I kidded myself that a spree of Internet porn was some kind of compensation.
So I know that I can be easilly influenced and I've got to be aware of the consequences all the time if I am to be beat this. It really is mind over matter.
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